You know you're really Italian when...

1) You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day,
but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2) Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but
still drives an HQ Kingswood. (courtesy Guido)

3) Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel
agent are all blood relatives.

4) You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious
breakfast.

5) You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.

6) Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress
the ladies by wearing your tank top to the beach.

7) At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

8) A high school diploma and 1 year of Community College has
earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

9) You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

10) 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto"
when answering the phone.

11) Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub
Madonna.

12) You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick
and wrought iron.

13) You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.

14) It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your
pockets.

15) You eat gnocchi every Monday night (hehe, that's me).